02/19/2021 – Day 278 – Proverbs 28 // vs 23: “He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue.”
Here is John Gill’s instructive commentary for this verse:
“Verse 23. He that rebuketh a man,…. His friend and acquaintance, for any fault committed by him; which reproof he gives in a free and faithful manner, yet kind, tender, and affectionate. The word rendered “afterwards,” which begins the next clause, according to the accents belongs to this, and is by some rendered, “he that rebuketh a man after me” {b}; after my directions, according to the rules I have given; that is, after God, and by his order; or Solomon, after his example, who delivered out these sentences and instructions. The Targum so connects the word, and renders the clause, “he that rebukes a man before him;” openly, to his thee: but rather it may be rendered “behind”; that is, as Cocceius interprets it, apart, alone, privately, and secretly, when they are by themselves; which agrees with Christ’s instructions, Matthew 18:15;
afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue; for though the reproofs given him may uneasy upon his mind at first, and may be cutting and wounding, and give him some pain, and so some dislike to the reprover; yet when he coolly considers the nature and tendency of the reproof, the manner in which it was given, and the design of it, he will love, value, and esteem his faithful friend and rebuker, more than the man that fawned upon him, and flattered him with having done that which was right and well; or, as the Targum, than he that divideth the tongue, or is doubletongued; and so the Syriac version; see Proverbs 27:5.”
Here is Yeshua’s instruction on this to His disciples and to us in Matthew 18:15: “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”
If you think about about it, it makes sense , from a opposite perspective of those who gossip about other people. What is the listener’s natural reaction, if he or her has any wisdom when they hear gossip? Is it not a note to self not to trust that person, even hang out with this person, for they will be gossipping about you as well. On the positive side, and this verse, it is indeed hard to take a rebuke for someone else at the moment. But if one is wise, they realize what strength of character it took for that person to tell you in secret. And the moreso perhaps when you can’t find anyone in your close circle of mutual friends that seems to know about it.